A Nightmare That Lasted Over 10 Years

Same nightmare for over ten years.. 

Bullet speed, metallic silver, overwhelmingly heavy and loud planes approaching our apartment building…

Rushing down the stairs with my family, hearing a loud blast… closing my eyes so hard, and BOOM!!

I know I died .. 

(Gaza War Oct 2023)

At that moment of time, life has indeed - ended.

Then, I open my eyes to find myself tense and locked in bed. I was killed by a foreign military plane at least 2-3 times a year with little to no occasions or triggers… 

And the worst part: I had no memory of it. I just knew that I was waking up tense to a nightmare of a “familiar and scary feeling.”

 I did not know until I was telling one of my brothers about it ten years later when I was 21 at the time. After I was able to remember the nightmare, and talked about it, it never came back. 15 years later today, I have not had that dream however, that trapped to death feeling is still all over my body. 

I had the same feeling when I was six in 1993 and a huge flash bomb was blasted in Sour next to our house. My mom was 9 months pregnant with my younger brother and she pushed me to hide in her belly, yes she was trying to push me into her 9 month pregnant belly. The glass shattered and even though I did not know what death meant at that age, I knew that I was dead at that moment - again.

They call it Post Traumatic Stress Disorder or PTSD.. Being children of war PTSD lives with us when we hear loud explosions, martial planes, or shows itself in elevated cortisol levels at all times.

These vivid memories came back after witnessing the horrible consecutive massacres happening in Palestine as I write this.

The children of Gaza however do not have PTSD..

For there was no Post.. this is their present.

They were born into trauma, even before seeing their first day on earth they were conceived in the middle of severely traumatic events. What is happening to the Palestinian children today has been happening for the past 75 years! People were born, lived their whole entire lives and died in the middle of the largest non humanitarian open air prison on earth. 

Each one of these people had a beautiful house or land  that all their ancestors lived in. Someone came in as a guest that they welcomed with open arms, and in return the guest took over the house and gave them a tiny room in the basement. The guest now determines when they can enter and leave, when they can eat, drink, and even use the bathroom. And not only that, the guest had the audacity to punish them should they ask for him to open the door and give their house back. 

There are no sides to this story.

There are NO sides to this story…

There are those that were oppressed and the oppressors. 

Those that were raped and the rapists. 

Those that were robbed and the thieves. 

You cannot ask a victim not to fight back for their life. 

You cannot ask a person to rape “with care” or to steal and “be fair”.

(Gaza War Oct 2023)

There are no two sides to this story. 

There was severe damage that was done to multiple generations of an ethnic group that is now being cleansed in the name of self defense. 

Since when do offenders and criminals keep the right to self defense? 

Hope

I was able to remember my nightmare 8 years after my home country Lebanon was liberated. It took 8 Whole Years To be able to dream again. Can you imagine what it would take Palestinian Children? 

But here is the truth. 

Freedom does not come from pity or sympathy. 

To live Free means to live in a way that respects and enhances the Freedom of others (Nelson Mandela).

Stop trying to explain your trauma to those who never lived it. 

Smile to and Pray for those who lost hope - they too have their own healing to do. 

Speak, Write, Draw, and Create OUT LOUD.

Focus on the survival, growth, and thrival of your community. 

GROW Together. 

Support Each Other.

Resist demolition by creating space for your Ambition.

No more victim mentality.

(Art / Inspiration - Source Unknown)

Take ownership of your life.

Build Businesses with Power out of speckles, out of sand… and STOP trying to change from within. 

STOP trying to change from within.

Think about all those who are the decision makers, what do they have in common? What gives them the power? 

It is about time that we stop playing the Master and Slave game. Masters stay in power by enslaving people through free labor and slaves stay enslaved trapped in fear of losing the life they have when they have not experienced life itself. 

I am not asking you to become another Master of a Slave but to be a Freedom Leader. 

Leadership is when you Fearlessly put your Power in the Service of your Values for the betterment of your brothers and sisters in humanity. If you are fearless and have the right set of values, then it is time that you allow yourself to grow, it is time to claim your power and empower others to seek their Freedom.

Rest in peace to those who have lost their lives this past week and in the past 75 years of oppression.

Your blood will fuel justice and the owners of the house shall get their house, their land, and their freedom again.

(Gaza War 2023)

"فاصبر ان وعد الله حق"

“So be patient. Indeed, the promise of Allah is Truth”