When I first got married, I quickly noticed an unspoken rule that hovered over many of our social interactions: the obligation to reciprocate every visit.
If someone invited us over, we felt the need to return the favor.
If someone sent a gift, we had to match it. It wasn’t just about politeness; it was as if a scorecard was being kept.
If we didn’t uphold our end of the social contract, a wave of guilt followed. This sense of transactional obligation wasn’t unique to my family; it was a part of the broader culture.
And it wasn’t just in our personal lives—it crept into our professional lives too.
But why? Why did we feel this constant need to balance the scales?
The truth is, living in a transactional mindset can be exhausting.
It feels as if you’re always trying to maintain a balance sheet, measuring each relationship by what you’ve given versus what you’ve received. This isn’t just tiring—it’s also limiting.
... (sigh)
As I navigated this early in my marriage, I began to realize how much more liberating it would be to give without expecting anything in return.
To host friends without anticipating an invitation back, to offer condolences without waiting for the same support, and to extend kindness without the expectation of reciprocation.
This revelation led me to see the parallels in the business world.
In many industries, there’s an unspoken expectation that support is a two-way street. If someone refers you a client, you owe them one in return. If a colleague promotes your services, you feel obliged to do the same. This transactional approach may maintain a surface-level balance, but it doesn’t foster true connections or build a lasting legacy.
Imagine instead, approaching each relationship—personal or professional—with a mindset of abundance.
Give because you want to, not because you have to.
Support others, even if they can’t offer anything in return. This kind of generosity isn’t just about being nice; it’s about creating an environment where relationships are built on trust and genuine care rather than obligation and expectation.
Living with this mindset is incredibly freeing. It allows you to focus on what truly matters: the joy of giving, the fulfillment of supporting others, and the peace that comes from knowing you’re acting in alignment with your values, not out of a sense of duty.
In your professional life, this could mean supporting a colleague’s business without expecting anything back or attending a networking event with the sole intention of helping others connect, rather than seeking what you can gain from it.
In your personal life, it could be as simple as offering a helping hand without waiting for one in return.
This shift in perspective not only enriches your relationships but also impacts how others perceive you. When you give without strings attached, you become the person others admire, trust, and want to be around.
You become the person who leaves a lasting, positive impression—a legacy that outlives even ~ your time on this earth.
So, today my friend, I challenge you to break free from the chains of transactional relationships and its toxic culture.
Give freely, love generously, and live authentically. In doing so, you’ll find a level of contentment and connection that transcends any scorecard.
Remember, those who perfume themselves with divine manners have a fragrance that will not fade even when they are buried in the ground.
Grateful for friendships that aren’t bound by conditions or expectations.
Here’s to incredible women who give from the heart without keeping score.
Your genuine support and kindness mean the world to me!
Farah
I love this.
I love you Farah❤️
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