On my classroom's cork bulletin board, I had a picture of a dark tunnel with a beaming light at the end of it...
At the center of that picture was a quote that was actually my resort during anything and everything. When things were bumpy, I always closed my eyes and reminded myself of the light at the end of the tunnel. I did not realize though, that it was the power of the quote - not the visual - that kept me grounded.
" O Allah, what did he find who lost You, and what did he lose who found You?" Imam Hussain.
Today; 3 days before Ramadan of 2022 I am making the intention to recenter and realign my spiritual connection to God and I want to share it with the universe so it holds me accountable to my promise!
I did not need anyone to tell me that the reason why I feel a hole in my heart sometimes is because I delayed a prayer, or did not do it, or chose to stop talking to God. I knew that when I stop talking to Him, I stop talking to myself, and hence I get stuck in an endless cycle of self punishment.
We know He will love us anyway, so we do our "day to day" things first and we talk to him last. But what this does, is that it starts to fill you up with self loathing, instability, and lack of alignment.
I want my expectations to be realistic, because I am intentional and serious about meeting them. Hence, my promise this Ramadan is to pray the moment I think that I need to pray without further delay, to thank God about something that happened that day at the end of my prayer, and to ask Him for help with an intention that I hope to fulfill - with full reliance - Tawakkul - that I am all in for the results and their respective consequences.
My promise to myself is to read one page of the Quraan before I sleep (I could read more, but I will promise myself one page only) to train my Heart and Mind that His words will drive and fuel my intention.
If I can brush my teeth everyday of my life because cavity hurts and losing them is not fun, then I can spiritually connect to God everyday for the rest of my life because uncertainty hurts and losing yourself is not fun either.
And if one day I stop brushing, and my gums start to swell again, I know that the only way to get the extra blood out is to brush and brush again... the cleaning may hurt, but nothing will feel better than the relief at the end.
Note: Right after I wrote this Blog piece, I printed my favorite quote above and added it to my office space at Maraseel.